It's Going To Be Perfectly Okay

"It's Going To Be Perfectly Okay"

Well, it is that time of year again.

The time for teachers to shield their eyes in the Wal-Mart because the "Back to School" supplies are out and taunting us. The time for us to "ignore" the fliers that come with the paper, because we wouldn't price match. Not now. Not yet.

"Come closer, teacher lady!" the glue beacons. "You neeeeed me. We should stick together."

"No...I...I can't. I have 17 days of summer left," I stammer weakly. "I have to go. Hold up. Did that say, Buy Two, Get One Free? Well, that...I can't just not look at that. I need three, really. Just take my money!"

This post is dedicated to all my people out there who have been obsessing on Pinterest about classroom organization, Googling the LAFS (that was almost funny, Florida), making all sorts of nicely labeled folders, and basically are already in full This-Year-Is-Going-to-be-The-Best-School-Year-Eva mode. I know it isn't just me.

I joke with people that I only need three weeks off, and then I am ready to head back to the grind, but it is usually true. This year is different for me though because I am transitioning grade levels for the first time in a long while (Am I smarter than a 5th grader? Hmm. Pondering), moving schools which means moving classrooms and really seeing all my "curriculum materials" and facing my addiction, while experimenting with new curriculum models. So, I needed some summer this year to start putting this all together. You know, to figure out a way to make it "perfect?"

I tell you no lie, I was sitting and obsessing...I mean...critically thinking...about the upcoming year after I had totally psyched myself out on Pinterest, and thought, we teachers do this every summer.

We get plans.

We are going to paint things.

We are going to organize things.

We are going to have the whole YEAR planned out before we ever start school.

We are going to take over the world. 

It's going to be PERFECT!

...and then it gets real.

 It says "Manic" here. It's why I chose it.

Actual children walk in the door and the plans get blown to smithereens! Kaboom! As in, "Someone please get me The Kaboom, someone totally threw up on the interactive Open House display board that tracks it's own data!"

or

That pom-pom thing you made out of tissue paper over the summer to match your new "theme." It's not fire code compliant, so that adorable ball of straight up delicacy has got to come down. What? No!

or

Someone didn't put their name on their paper. No problem, I will just use that cute "No Name" board, I...almost...made. Oh, bother. I will just put it on the board and write "No Name." That'll work, I guess.

or

Well, I am sure you have your own. The point is that we are all going to be okay even if it is no longer "the perfect classroom."  You see, I am reformed perfectionist, but I am only reformed to an extent. What I mean is, I have seen that when things don't work out perfectly, they usually still work out. The world doesn't end. The students aren't scarred for life.  The Smart Board is still fully there on the wall! It is black and smoking a bit, but it is there. Everything is okay, even if it isn't perfect.

But that does not mean I have not spent a few more hours then I'd like to admit trying to research "perfect" teaching, "perfect" classroom organization that like, never gets messed up,  and that "perfect" strategy for helping to mold some "perfect" comprehension, because, hello....testing.

I was doing all of this today and I arrived at the salient conclusion, that while all of these are food for thought and will help me get close to my goals as an educator, expecting perfection means that I am really getting in my own way. I get caught up in perfection, and I forget to be flexible, and have fun. That is just silly because I can still do the splits and everything.

It also does not mean I do not like a solid, 8 page lesson plan, detailed curriculum notes, and a closet full of glitter, just in case I need it. I do want those things. They make me feel ready. They make me feel professional. I take this job seriously, and I have the anxiety to prove it.


So this year I am going to go into this really believing there is no perfect classroom, but there are fun, engaging, loud at times, but completely serious about learning, celebratory, safe, and completely creative ones, and that is my real goal.

 Are those curtains, like...ironed? That floor is glistening. This isn't even real.

Reenter the "Back to School" display.

Listen, Wal-Mart shopping is going to be inevitable and I ask for prayer, because it is Wal-Mart, but I saw this Reading Nook online and it was nicely color coded, with modern labels on the baskets and with GENRES and everything. I just know I can get all the stuff I need to make that Reading Nook. That one that was so homey and lovely to read in, and also brain-based, because including the brain here is pretty important. I can do that.

I'll put it all together to make a beautiful, organized, super-cool for super-learning space.  VICTORY WILL BE MINE!

Then I will add that really important piece that the picture online didn't show yet.

Children.

Yeah, and then...it will be just...perfect.